Day One.

"Every accomplishment starts with the mission to try." 

Today has been a good day. I feel motivated and in the right mental attitude to achieve all my goals, and there a quite a lot of them. I ate well, I went to class and I feel like I really can do it. I'm absolutely starving, I'll admit it, but there's no surprise there seeing as I've eaten like a big for the last 6 months and my stomach and body isn't used to not having all those extra calories, but still, I feel good, and soon, I'll feel even better... ie, tomorrow morning, when I'm eating breakfast. 

I'm kind of excited about blogging again and I'm excited to feel in the right frame of mind again, I want to lose around 6-7kgs, and of course, pass the 8 possibly 9 subjects I have ahead of me before the end of July, to give up smoking for once and for all, and to start living positively rather than negatively and not self sabotage myself. Psychological studies show that it takes 21 days to form a habit, so obviously, these next 20 days (we can count out today because I haven't messed up and won't zombie my way to the kitchen) are absolutely crutial, I'll have to slip up on the 11th of february (Valentine's night) and on the 18th of february, those are the two clear dates in my head but as long as I can somehow balance it out it will be fine, I don't want to ruin my life because I'm trying to lose weight, but I also certainly don't want to take it lightly... I'm going to take each and every day as it comes right now, where each day is my goal. So yesterday, today was my goal. Today, tomorrow is my goal, and so on. I'm going to focus on the small pictures before I start focusing on the big one. And anyone who says dieting doesn't or shouldn't make you hungry is having a laugh, because I'm used to eating around 2000 maybe 2500 calories a day and I've eaten round about 1250 today, so I'm going to be hungry, it's just obvious. I also want to incorporate exercise into my plan (walking to start and we'll go from there).

That's just eating/exercise wise, as for life in general, I want to change my school habits and I will pass every subject I have ahead of me, regardless of any other aspect of my life because that is my main objective. Every single day counts and time is everything in this case, I have the tools, the way and the brain to do it, nothing will keep me away from it. Also of course look after her and love her and take care of her every single step of the way and every single day... If April comes and it hasn't happened, it's because it wasn't meant to be. I'm not going to bring up the issue, push anyone into anything, she knows what she has to do, and even though it would break my heart into a million pieces, I know I would say goodbye and move on. That's the way life is. I guess that's why I have to focus so hard on everything else. I wish I hadn't brought up this topic because now I can only think about that... I believe in her, and... if it doesn't happen, I have a lot of good stuff in my life to keep me going. Or maybe, I simply won't care. Nah, I will, of course I will.

Anyway, as for eating, here's what I ate today:

• Breakfast: Special K w/skimmed milk, coffee with skimmed milk
• Mid morning: Coffee and Special K cereal bar
• Lunch: Chicken salad and a yoghurt (0%)
• Mid afternoon: Cereal bar (65kcals) and two coffees
• Dinner: Green beans with a little tomato and tuna (very nice btw)

And, that is all for today! Watch this space, kiddo :)

Much love!